sinfulness

well i guess its time to deal with it head on, why do i sin? and why do i keep sinning when i know its wrong. Everytime i ask for forgiveness, deep down in my heart i loath myself for even bringing that up with God, to know that i've hurt him so much, and now trying to put on a face to cover my sinful heart, when my brain is telling me, i'll do the exact same thing tomorrow, how can i ask for forgiveness?Oh its not like God still remembers ur sin, once they're forgiven they are forgotten. But dont kid yourself, God searched my heart and knew what i was thinking, what i was feeling, he knows what i had in mind, stop trying to play games, its a game that everyone loses, how you like that? Time and time again, i tell myself, start living the victorious life, but time and time again i fall short, whats wrong with me? Do I have NO SHAME!!!To ask for forgiveness, and only to hurt him again, if i were a son of mine, i would've abandoned him long time ago, but God doesnt want to, and he doesnt give up on me, so why do i give up on myself, and take no action AGAINST MY HABITUAL SINS!!!Why do i just let it drag on and say"I'll deal with it later", its one of satan's best lies and he used that to full effect on me, so knowing that, i still play along with it? i've got to be insane...No more lies, its not worth it