Does God exist

watched a debate online between Joe Boot and college philosophy professors. Great debate very thought provoking. I just had a thought and had to write it down somewhere, so where else than here. Anyways, If evolution believes that we are in nature accidents, so everything we do are dictated by our environments and therefore justifies our actions whatever it may be. Because morality is merely an accident. So if i get angry, and a very justified anger, for example if someone kills my wife or my kids, that action will prevent me from reproduction and is counterproductive to me passing on my genes. Then I in my anger, will desire to kill that someone. Or hurt him/her badly. So am I not justified then according to evolution in my desire and/or action to destroy that person. So how can humans ever promote compassion and forgiveness when such murder or murderous intent is justified?

Space monkey II

"Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good."..."From now on, all those with shaved heads: "Space Monkeys"."
These are the origina quotes from fight club in regards to space monkeys. This one is for those who are willing to understand what i'm doing and also maybe what Enoch did, and why his small group is called "space monkeys"...to my understanding, correct me if i'm wrong noc.
So let's start with me shaving my head, for me its a symbolism, i have always been conscious, evenly overly conscious of what others think of me, think of my appearance. styling my hair would be one way to act that out, but shaving it just means screw all that crap and face my fear, if i spend that much time on hair, it takes away from my time with God, which is much more important. shaving my head means to confront my fear.
Second as a space monkey, we're ready to be shot into space, it means we're ready to do God's work. The monkey has no idea where he's going, he's going as a pointeer, the fronteer if you will, the forerunner as it says on one of my shirt that ypm gave to me. That we are out there in the forefront of the battle, the first ones to be sent out there, we have no idea whats ahead, so all we can do is trust God and his love, his faithfulness, his mercy and grace. shaving my head means to fully rely on God for what's ahead.
thirdly, the result of the exploration may be a great sacrifice on the part of the space monkey, but the purpose that it serves is for the greater benefit of mankind, i do this so that i could benefit everyone, when people ask me why i shave my head, i would say i shaved it for the previous two reasons, and if you wanna know who i did it for, let me tell you about this man called Jesus of Nazareth. shaving my head would be the opportunity to sacrifice what i have and use that to serve God's purpose, it gives me a clear mind to do what is His will and no longer focus on the little things like image and appearance.

aww kenpachi *wipes drool

i know i know, i was gonna post space monkey part II, but bleach 98 was on, and i had to talk about it since theres so much to talked about, now i kinda understand why other people watch anime and think about their own life, its very addictive and informative. Let's start with the beginning of the battle, it seems that ichinose came back after a period with improved skills, and kenpachi is interested in seeing his improvement. As with me, i left london, and i guess in a way to sharpen my sword, as i answered the call from God and it seems like i went a way for some traiing camp he has prepared me for, out of my comfort zone and such, learning more about him and his powers. So one thing i dont want to happen is for me to go back to london after i'm done, and people say to me" nothing's changed" that would be a waste of time for me to be here. Gives me a drive to challeng myself even more.
Second, Kenpachi said that look on ichinose's face improved, he has more will to fight and he's taking the fight more seriously, it means he has grown, while he was out of soul society, and sometimes it takes one to get out of soul society, for me it was london, and train to improve that look on my face, in another words refined so that God can see his reflection in me...booyah!!
Third, Kenpachi took off his eye patch to release some of the reiatsu he kept sealed away, that was the most destructious part, especially when its an eyepatch, because sometimes we have our eyepatch so we wont be able to use the full power of God, or even see the power that God put within us, reminds me of 2 kings 17, in this context, i'll just paraphrase it as "take off our eyepatches so that we may see." See the full release of his annointing and his awesome power, because it will blow away all satan's reiatsu. Siiiick
And finaly when ichinose was beaten down, he talked about his goals and kariya's goal's (his master) and kenpachi dismissed him as he doesnt have his own goals. it makes me wonder if my goals to please God is really my own, is God's goal my own goal or just a copy because i have no goals of my own? It turns out, i wanna serve the LORD because i love him and when i love someone, their goal becomes my own, not just because i have nothing else to do, i do have my own ambitions and my own desires, but when i choose to give up those worldly goals and trade it for The LORD's goal, then his goal becomes my own and hence I have my own goal, it is that of God.
Oh and finaly finaly, when the battle was over, kepachi said i gave it my all, i find that to be a drool worthy line. biblical reference? 2 Timothy 4:7, when paul said he has fought the good fight and have finished the race.
I wanna be able to say that everyday, that today i have fought the good fight and have finished the race, and i gave it my all.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

space monkey I

now ready to be shot into "space". This one's for you noc.
I know i'm ready, but i pray to God that i wont forget what the shaved head symbolizes. For me it was a pact with God, that i will not fear judgement of others, and on a broader sense, I will not fear anything of this world. Less thoughts about what other people thinks of me, and just focus on what God thinks. And I'm pointing to everyone of you out there who consider me as a friend, a brother and an allie, don't let me forget it. Guess that sentence only worked on those who reads my blogs, but oh well. So i'm sitting here at home, spending some time with my family by typing away on my laptop. I'm just reminded of God's blessing through my parents, and the things that they encourage me with, even spiritually, last night we ate out, and my mom was picking up her chopstick to eat, and i said" did you pray?" and she just dropped her chopstick and prayed, that felt good, not because i told her to do something, but to see she knows God is important, and know that i can serve as a reminder to her of that. It's a small thing, but its good to see God's work in them.
Every thanksgiving i wonder how many people are actually thankful for the things in there life, and whether they are thankful because of those things, or because of God. makes me wonder. yesterday was mid-autumn festival, a festivity in China, and the moon was round and we had mooncakes, makes me think about my family in China, then about the girl i met over the summer, iunno if she reads this, but oh well. this is an internet blog, its ok for everyone to see my thoughts, even if they might leads to consequences. It's one of the ways of geting over the fear of judgement from others, now they see my thoughts, i've got nothing to hide from them.
Anyways, better spend some real time with family, this really isnt a entry for the implications of space monkeys, but that's why i makred it part i, second part to come ... For now if you wanna find out more about space monkeys, watch fight club!!!

destructious

went to prayer meeting at TCAC today. Just saw two pastors when i walked in, that was destructious. But praise God still, he can use whoever he wills and do whatever he will, he can raise up descendents of Abraham from stones, he can choose to raise up his army from trees, and three willing hearts is more than enough for him to use and do things that are unimaginable to us. We really don't have much use, but he is willing to use us. PTL.
So as we prayed for this prayer meeting, along with another mature sister who joined us later, we prayed for the church, we prayed according to the seven churches of revelations that we would not be lukewarm, we would stand firm against the devil and that we would capture that first love with God.
As i was reminded by Roger during retreat that we are to have a personal relationship with God and that we are to love him with the love he has for us, It struck me that this is the reason why i do these things and say these words, its because i love him, he is my creator, my father, my friend, my master and my king. each and everyone of the above roles listed has great significance to all of us, and we all should comprehend what those means. And what it means to love God, I for one will continue to find that out till I die and go meet him and then continue to find new significant meanings.
So i want to love him with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength, but what does it mean? i gotta find that out, i gotta learn how to love him. gotta know in my heart that i love him. He is the desires of my heart and the apple of my eye, I wanna truly be able to sing that song of solomon to him with meaning and truth. wouldnt that be great?
So hallelujah, praise God for today's prayer meeting, i was truly blessed. And that, is truly destructious

God is faithful

Retreat was awesome for the lack of a better word. Came at a good time in my life, God always provides and he is just so faithful that way, it stabs me right in the heart, in a good way, or some might say shot me right between my eyebrows. let's breakit down a little.
First time when I got in, I was embraced, with hugs from almost everyone i saw, the touch of God's children is amazing. Then got to join a small group, comprised of my favourate people, and the discussion was good, simply put God made in me a desire to get to know and love the people in my SG and that was good. Got to talk to my homies (people i knew well) later that night, and a great time catching up with peeps. Sat, it was raining heavily, which made me glad because i couldn't play softball, and stayed with the prayer meeting during free time...that was a heck of a good time, just worhsipping God, praying with and for one another, to love freely and to worship freely, to jump and sing in joy. havnt done that in a while. not with that many people. It was good to pray with that many people yet still know they have the same desires, same passion and same love for God....destructious. Sat night sharing was great, its nice to see so many men stepping up there and share and not be afraid. So I pray that they would take that into the whole year, in terms of prayer meetings, men's cell, fellowship in general and serving God there. It would be a sight to see that prayer meetings packed with ACF men, to see men's cell together and do stuff and glorify God, to see men taking an active part in ACF to serve and to lead. All these things I pray and hope they pray for. Sat night worship was amazing, to see all of us in the back jumping and singing and praising God, and when we welcomed people and sang "he has made me glad" it just hit me how great it is to share this once again with brothers and sisters and the craziness we have for God. Even though i havnt seen most of them for nearly 5 months, but i come back and get blown away by how much all of us grew and how we're still worshipping God with the one heart and one voice. Crazy, God is good indeed and his fail not. Siiiiick.
Sunday I realised that it was the fruit of the exec, that they were obedient to God and God worked through them to make this retreat happen, and Glory to God, just realising that it was these people that i watched them grow and it was these same people that had the same struggle as me and now they are forerunners for God and they are the frontline fighters, they are the warriors and they took the responsibility and made one heck of an oppotunity out of it. Just amazing what God has done through them. Again, crazins.
Coming back, still with the song inside out ringing in my head and he has made me glad on my tongue, I realised i'm ready, to go into battle again, i'm ready for this wed's prayer meeting. I'm ready for whatever satan has for me, so BRING IT ON!!!! For God is with me, and he strengthen's me, so i have full confidence to boast in him, that i have his full armor and ready for whatever you through at me, cos whatever it is, it'll has to go through God first, hallelujah!!!